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Chili Con Pollo El Rayo X

chicken, halved
4 quarts water
4 diced onions
4 celery stalks, finely diced
2 cans black beans
1 large can crushed tomatoes
4 dried Ancho chiles (de-stemmed and seeded)
4 cloves garlic, pressed or diced
2 bay leaves
1 tsp cumin
2 tsp onion powder
1 Tbsp salt
Iguana Radioactive Atomic Pepper Sauce to taste

Boil chicken with carrot peelings, onion skins, celery tops, bay leaves and salt for 1/2 hour. Remove chicken and allow to cool. Pull chicken meat away from bone and chop into large chunks. Skim stock, reserving 1 Tbsp chicken fat.

Sauté onions, celery, carrots, and cumin in reserved chicken fat slowly until nicely browned. Puree dried Ancho chiles with 2 cups of chicken stock until very smooth and thick. Add garlic to sautéed vegetables and cook 2 minutes. Add tomatoes and sauté 5 minutes more. Add stock, Ancho puree and onion powder and simmer for 20 minutes.

Add chicken and beans, simmer for an additional 20 minutes. Add salt and Iguana Radioactive Sauce to taste. Serve in the pot outside on a picnic table lit by chili lights in the trees accompanied by tortilla chips in a big basket and sliced melon on a platter. Put on x-ray specs. Read Mexican comic books while listening to mariachi music. Drink margaritas and dance all night.

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